Yesterday I was officially 5 months clean from heroin! No flashback pictures this month, just my current state of health. I really am so fortunate to get this second chance. I had a horrible reaction to using once. While I came to the conclusion it was from hitting an artery and having some weird reaction, I showed my nurse today some pictures of it and she said it didn’t have to be an artery, and more likely I hit the vein but that the heroin was laced with something that my body freaked out about. I had a rash covering my body head to toe for weeks (pictures of it were in my coming out video about my addiction), and I kept putting off going to the doctor. my temp kept rising and rising till it hit 106, which is scary close to brain damage. I still just insisted to cool off with a million cold baths. finally, I went in to the doctor the following day. I told them that I was using IV drugs. They gave me antibiotics and steroids and it still didn’t go away for nearly 14 days, but they did freak out and tell me never to wait that long to go to a doctor ever again. He told me that at 103, they start cooling you with ice packs, at 106 you can start seizing, and 107 you can have permanent brain damage and death. It was terrifying to know I truly got in that kind of danger, and I still just stayed at home continuing to pick back up. Once I left the doctor, I picked back up again. A drug meant more than my life. Once when we moved to a new dealer, he made it clear there was fentanyl in the heroin. It terrified me. I refused to touch it. But, when the withdrawals came, it didn’t matter anymore. Early sobriety is tough, but worth it. I know exactly how much hell using brought into my life, I was miserable every day, but yet with addiction, my brain still tells me to go back often. Using the tools in the recovery community though, I can get through that and find my peace again. thank you so much for the support, I can’t believe the last vid on my 2nd channel got over half a million views, I never thought that many people would care to hear about that stuff! I’m so thankful to still be sober and getting stronger. I love you.
Miu Miu Automne 2020.⠀
Ray of light: embroidered dress decorated with pearls from the #MiuMiuAutomne20 collection.⠀
Art direction and styling by @kegrand.⠀
Discover the collection via link in bio.